Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

That's the sound of me going back to work. I need to feel vital and work really does that for me. Without a doubt this past summer is the second worst that I have ever had (the worst being when my dad and oldest brother died less than a month apart.) Living with a deteriorating parent (early dementia, loss of muscle control which equals falling, diabetes, sarcoidosis, etc. etc. etc.) has been no easy task and is generally what one would call a labor of love. I feel guilty many days because it feels more like labor. My mom and I have never ever been close. In fact, she told me she loved me for the first time I can ever remember just a few days ago. There are days when I feel like my sanity is trying to get away from me and like a little kid I want to fill up my bandana, tie it to a stick and run away from home. I have been doing some reading on caregiver burn out and I realize now that my problem stems from not having time for myself. This summer a big outing for me was going to the grocery store. I need to find time to go to a movie, take a long bubble bath or read a few chapters of a new book. I'm trying to keep it together for my DS because he still needs me.